10 Brutal Mistakes That Nearly Ruined Star Wars

Star Wars, in many ways, was "the perfect storm:" of ideas, of technology, of innovation in storytelling, in casting, and more. You can try and replicate that perfect storm, but it will be just that - a replica, without all the magic, wonder or excitement, no matter how much money the studio pours into the project. The fact is that we do have these movies. Are they bad movies? no. Are they poorly conceived Star Wars movies? Yes.

I gave this blog the title Brutal Star Wars Mistakes because these could very easily have been avoided, and by doing so, doing much better movies - on all levels.

1. Setting the story 30 years after Return of the Jedi:

By setting up a follow-up only 30 years later, you're basically anchoring yourself to tried-and-true, or more pointedly, tired characters and story lines, thereby limiting yourself in scope of story and imagination. True, Timothy Zahn managed to be remarkably successful at it (and story took place only five years after the end of the saga!), and he had the added bonus of writing for the printed media, but that is the exception to prove the rule. However, when your ambition is to make a true space opera with your own handprints, you need to give the story a good measure of space(...).

2. Paying "lip service" to fans:

This includes bringing back waaay too many characters, some of them digitally. This is a sure sign of a creatively bankrupt concept: lassoing beloved characters back, so viewers will have a sense of familiarity, quality of the story be damn. This is another factor that limits the story potential: "oh, let's bring these guys back, people love them!" They loved them in the original trilogy. Now, sorry, but they're just along for the ride.

3. Characters that don't make sense...and actions that don't fit characters:

Director Kernic, I'm looking at you. You think Lord Vader would allow a weasel like him to oversee the construction of the Death Star? One of the things that really bug me in these types of movies is the addition of characters who were not there from the beginning. The Recent Jurassic World movie is a glaring example of that, introducing a partner/friend of John Hammond. He wasn't it book? He should not be in the movie! And Luke drinking that milk? Princess Leia floating in space?Really...?

4. Being too self-serious:

Rouge One had the potential to be the most entertaining Star Wars movie since ROTJ. The problem is, it took itself too seriously. Instead of quick banter between Cassian Endor and Jen Orso, we get angry, sour exchanges about who sacrificed more "for the cause." Very tense and dour.

Consider the following exchange in Star Wars:

Han Solo: Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.

Princess Leia Organa: It's a wonder you're still alive.

[Pushing past Chewbacca]

Princess Leia Organa: Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?

Han Solo: No reward is worth this.

Compare that dialogue with this exchange, from Rogue One:

Jyn Erso: You lied about why we came here and you lied about why you went up alone.

Cassian Andor: I had every chance to pull the trigger, but did I?

[looking to Chirrut and Baze]

Cassian Andor: *Did* I?

Jyn Erso: You might as well have. My father was living proof and you put him at risk. Those were Alliance bombs that killed him.

Cassian Andor: I had orders. Orders that I disobeyed. But you wouldn't understand that.

Jyn Erso: Orders? When you know they're wrong? You might as well be a stormtrooper.

Cassian Andor: What do you know? We don't all have the luxury of deciding when and where we want to care about something. Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you. Some of us live it. I've been in this fight since I was *six* years old. You're not the only one who lost everything. Some of us just decided to do something about it.

Jyn Erso: You can't talk your way around this.

Cassian Andor: I don't have to.

The problem is not that it's bad dialogue (it's not), but it delivered in such a heavy manner. No real chemistry is allowed to grow between the two actors, and that is a shame. The best dialogue in Rogue One arguably belongs to the robot, K-250 ("There is a problem on the horizon. There is no horizon)! When the robot in your film has the best/wittiest line...that's a problem.

5. Not enough innovation

One of the ticks of George Lucas regarding Star Wars, was the technological innovations it brought with it, whether visual or audio. We've gotten nothing impressive in these last few movies. There was nothing in any of the movies that makes us go, 'wow!'

6. Promoting Captain Obvious:

In these last few movies, scenes were basically signaled loud and clear minutes before they were shown. You knew characters A, B, C would die; you knew there was going to be a showdown between Y and Z.

7. Being lazy in story, in dialogue, in character arch

How many times have we heard this line: "i've got a bad feeling about this?" It was great the first time; second time...eh. Thi"This will begin to make things right," is the first line of dialogue in The Force Awakens. What is that supposed to mean? and who was this dude anyway (played by legendary actor Max Von Sydow) and why do we only see him for about 5 minutes? It always seems that the Empire or 'first order...' outmans and outguns the 'rebellion.' You would think that after defeating the Emperor, they would invest a little time and effort in establishing a better rule?

One more thing: how did Han misplace his beloved Millennium Falcon after ROTJ?

8. Killing off characters needlessly:

Killing off characters for the sake of killing of characters is a sure sign of creative desperation, or just laziness. Imagine someone came up with a follow-up story to The Wizard of Oz and decided to kill of (or rust off) the tin man? Knocking off a character for the sake of eliciting strong emotion from the audience, or pathos, doesn't make any sense. If it didn't happen in the original trilogy, it shouldn't be done now. Also, I don't know what exactly they plan for C3PO, but if, like myself and others suspect, it involves some kind of "reprogramming," of our favorite robot, this has to be one of the laziest story devices..ever.

9. Making the villain a whiny punk:

The saying goes, "a story is only as good as its villain." You can't have a main villain smashing helmets and throwing tantrums! That's not a villain - that's a disturbed teenager with anger management issues. You want to argue, "well, what's the difference between Kylo-Ren/Ben Solo and Anakin Skywalker of the prequel trilogy? The huge difference is that we followed Anakin's entire story arch from the beginning. He also doesn't whine.

10. Nothing to remember here, move along...

When somebody mentions Star Wars, what's the first thing likely to pop into your mind?

SW: Tatooine; the Death Star; the trench run; Vader vs. Obi-Wan

ESB: Dagobah; Hoth; the astroid belt; AT-AT walkers

ROTJ: Ewoks (for good or bad), Vader vs. Luke round 2, the Emperor laughing on his throne.

Even from the prequels you have iconic moments/images:

The Phantom Menace: Darth Maul, Duel of the Fates

Attack of the Clones: The Clone Army, Battle of the Arena

Revenge of the Sith: Anakin's Turn, Anakin vs. Obi-Wan

What memorable image, scene, sequence or character is memorable from the last three movies?

To be fair, Star Wars: The Last Jedi does have its own song, something none of the original trilogy have...

Star Wars was about a young farm boy that grew up to lead the resistance against the evil galactic empire and its evildoers, Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine. It was about wonder, space battles, a princess in distress, charming rogues, a walking carpet, wise sages and a pair of unforgettable robots. It has endured for so many years because it struck a nerve, it was something never seen before (and inspired a number of prominent future directors)...and it was a great story. And while the last few movies are financial success (and let's be honest, that's basically the only thing studios care about), they are not in the same galaxy of the originals.